A rapper and award-winning writer says watching pornography ruined relationships and corrupted his daily life.
Darren McGarvey says he fears pornography has scarred him “mentally, spiritually and physically”.
But he feels unable to give it up, even though viewing the content online has left its mark in a similar way to his excessive alcohol drinking.
Warped
McGarvey, who won the Orwell Prize for political writing in June, pens a column for The Scotsman newspaper and has previously spoken about the damaging effects of pornography.
In his latest column, he explained how as a child he “felt a sense of shame, chased by a deep embarrassment” when he saw explicit images. But he continued with repeatedly viewing pictures “throughout the years”.
“Before I was even aware this activity was potentially harmful, the damage was done”, he wrote, adding that it “subconsciously warped” his relationships.
“It’s the sheer intensity of the sexual thoughts and urges that porn elicits that begins to corrupt your day-to-day life.”
Numb
McGarvey explained that his viewing has now desensitised him: “I am almost numb to whatever I see, regardless of how bizarre, shocking, outrageous or weird someone else may find it.”
He concluded: “I want to stop, but I can’t”, “I’m ashamed, yet somehow cannot find the rabbit-hole’s exit.”
In 2016, a Christian wrote about how God had freed him from pornography’s grip.
Cleansed
Tabor Laughlin said he discovered pornography as an adolescent and was haunted by ‘the allure of cheap and easy pleasure’.
After becoming a Christian he still struggled but one day was challenged to tell some male friends about his experience.
“In that moment — with a knot in my throat, feeling exposed — I knelt on the ground and confessed aloud in great detail my past and present sexual sins both to God and the other guys there. And they prayed for God to completely cleanse me of those sins.”
He continued: “At that very moment, God took away my struggle with those sexual sins. For a while, I was haunted that I eventually would stumble back into sexual sin, but it didn’t happen.”